Dick Cheney did another interview with Fox News (his favorite channel…you’ll recall that he directed his hotel-room TVs to be pre-set to Fox whenever he was on the road as Vice, so he wouldn’t be distracted by objective reality). Currently vomiting from his mouth is the fiction that Eric Holder’s investigation into CIA torture abuses is “politicized”; that it’s bogus because he didn’t have the “permission” of the President. Hey, pal, that’s how it’s supposed to work! Just because your own Attorneys General were drooling lackeys, and Mr. Turd Blossom himself, Karl Rove, presided over a few sackings because some U.S. Attorneys weren’t political enough, doesn’t mean we’ve become a monarchy. I’ll give you this, though, you came damn close.
And get this beauty: “We have a track record of eight years of defending America from mass casualty attacks from al Qaeda.” Um, make that seven and change. Remember the one you didn’t defend us from – even though you were warned it was coming? And by the way, threatening a guy with a power drill and telling him you’re about to go rape his mother does not make us safer. When the guy eventually goes free because you couldn’t develop any evidence that didn’t issue from the back of your hand, he might just remember how groovy his captors really were. That, sir, is a terrorist, and you’ve been motivating them for years, far more effectively than Osama bin Laden. (Who is somewhere laughing right now, free as a bird. He said 9/11 was an economic attack, and so it has proven to be.)
Dick Cheney is the guy who vetted prospective veep candidates in such unnecessary detail that he amassed Washington’s sleaziest collection of personal dirt against potential rivals – before recommending himself for the job. Who dodged the draft repeatedly, because he had “other priorities.” Who scuttles like a cockroach into “undisclosed locations” at the first sign of trouble. Who forbade Google Maps from even showing his residence. Who shot a pal in the face and then sat on the news for a day so the beer could leach out of his system. He’s the angry old white guy who can’t observe the common courtesy that even George W. Bush displays: show some respectful silence.
A bully? A coward? A windbag? For the answers to these and other questions, just keep watching Fox News.